new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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