I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
