dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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