I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
