I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My ATM looks so different sober.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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