Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
