And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
