I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
