I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
