you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
