Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
