It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize