WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
