I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize