I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
