Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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