All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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