corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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