He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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