a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
