Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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