she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
