Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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