We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
