WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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