He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
