I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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