Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
