I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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