Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
