I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
