Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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