oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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