My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
