just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dear god my vagina.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
