Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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