So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
