i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
