Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
