you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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