Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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