Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
