no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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