Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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