Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I intend to get homeless drunk
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
