I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
