Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
