i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
