I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
