FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
