dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
