She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Semen is not good for contacts.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
