you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
