so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
