Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
