I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
