I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
