? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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