Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
