Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
